Dwelling on the Past

Did you ever start thinking about the past and wonder what you'd have done if you did what you really wanted to do, instead of what you did do? Like say someone was bugging you but you didn't have the guts to tell them off or say some witty comeback because of something, so just stayed passive when you could've done something?

Yeah, my familiarity with this situation is astounding...

But seriously. Have you ever made a list of everything you want to be, and tried to be that way before you realized it wouldn't work because everyone already thinks of you a certain way, and that's not gonna change anytime soon because everyone doesn't have room for change?

It's infuriating when you can't do anything about yourself.

Luckily, that's stopped happening, but it's not like I completely ditched my wishful thinking.

I find that when you're isolated by yourself, it's easier to relax and understand yourself. When you're with others, it just confuses you as to who you are, because everyone has an image of you that you almost feel you have to uphold for them. But you really don't.

Stop being the person that people think you are, and be who you really are. It's a bit complicated to find yourself in a sea of people that think they know you, but you'll feel a whole lot better about yourself this way.

Bollywood Movies and YOU

For the past three weeks, my relatives (or rather, family, since they are most definitely NOT distant) were visiting. They unfortunately, and sadly, left to go back home today. Awww...

But that isn't the point of this!!

Whenever I see my two favourite cousins and aunt of all time, what usually happens is that we suddenly get the urge to watch Indian movies - hence the title of this post. Bollywood movies usually don't interest me that much, but I find them fun to watch when I'm with family, so we watched maybe five movies together. Okay, no, more like two, only because the other three were us going through the songs and sort of half-watching the movie while doing chores like laundry and the dishes.

During their visit, we went to Toronto. Specifically, Gerrard Street - or Little India. We stocked up on some Bollywood films that supposedly had some really good ratings. This included 'You Me aur Hum', 'Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi', 'Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic', 'Billu Barber', and 'Marigold'.

So, maybe they aren't all that great, but that doesn't mean we didn't buy them anyways! I know that my mum and aunt wanted to see Marigold, but me and my cousin couldn't care less about a interracial love story! And maybe Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic was about to be totally written off by my mum, but she ended up thinking it was okay.

Some people find watching a movie in a different language confusing even if they do have subtitles, but it's easy enough for me even though I'm Indian and don't speak a word of Hindi or any other dialect. I've even watched Chinese films that had very complex and perplexing plotlines, but still managed to follow the story with little difficulty. Sometimes you just have to get past the traditional or religious aspects of the movie.

If you're interested to watch a Bollywood film, I wouldn't know which movie to suggest to you, but I would encourage you to try it out. The culture and music might draw you in, or push you away, but either path you go, you've still had an experience!

Till the next!

summersummersummer :D

So we're a couple week's into summer and I've had so much more time to write stories (fanfiction and original alike) that I've neglected this blog! But no fear, I'm still here :)

I've actually found a site with some writing prompts to get started on whenever I'm having one of those ever-so annoying bout's of writer's blocks, so incase you're interested, here are a few of my favourites from it!

Begin your story with this line: It was the one thing he coveted the most

List 20 rules you've broken (this one really gets me thinking because I don't usually break rules)

Think about a thing you feel should not have been invented

List the 7 worst things to say to a person who just got dumped

Write from the point of view of a knife inside a thief's pocket

If you want more from the site I found these from, here's the link:

http://www.creativewritingprompts.com/

Exam Time - No more time for fun!

Exams are exactly a week away now, and all I've been doing is studying. I get home and study, and eat, and study, and go to bed. It's really sad too because people keep telling me about all this stuff that I /just have to/ search up on Google. No time for that, just studying.

No more anime-talk, reading manga, cosplay-obsessing, and no writing - whether it's fanfiction or original works.

Though this is the last update I'll probably do until summer starts! And there'll be lots to talk about anime-wise and writing!

Till the next...

Spring Cleaning??

Today I spent at least three to four hours cleaning my room, because according to my mum it was a disaster zone. Now, I agreed, but I have this weird thing called an 'organized mess'. It made sense to me, but I guess not to her -.-;

So I cleaned out my room and it is now up to her standards :D isn't that great, now I won't have to clean that much for another week!!! (joking... I meant a month... yeah... :P)

While I cleaned out my room, I swear I found so many clothes I never wear anymore, and found that I had no hangers because I had so much due to the recent 'summer shopping' me and my mum did, so I threw out tons of stuff. We're probably gonna donate it to Goodwill or Value Village or something.

Come to think of it, while we were on that shopping trip, mum finally thought (and was relieved because of it) that I had a sophisticated style. That's when I found the cargo pants and begged mum to buy them for me. Well, needless to say, her bubble of hope was popped in a matter of maybe two seconds after she admitted I was sophisticated! Hehehehe :)

Well, until the next post!

Anime North Weekend!

Anime North 09 was so much fun :) we got it all together at the very last minute and went with the Con. It was intense. I'll post up the pictures I got from the trip onto the Gadget's side of the page.

We found so many cool cosplays, and we never missed a chance for a photo op. My friend cosplayed as Link from Zelda, and our quest was to find a Zelda cosplayer (ironic huh?) so we could get a picture of them together. We finally did, and people flocked to us so they could get a photo of them together, one even shouted out for them to kiss - but my friend Link was a girl, and obviously that wasn't going to happen.

We've already begun planning for next year, and me and Mizuki are going to do most of the planning for it. We're almost done and it's been less than a week!!

Well, until the next post :)

Zola Cosplay

So I finally decided on a cosplay (about a week ago) and it'll be the Zola cosplay from Blue Dragon. I really love her character, even before she first made her appearance. I've gotten most of the components, like her shorts, the stockings, the tube top, the purple scarf, and the bandanna. All I need now are the necklace, boots, earrings, wig, and the two pairs of gloves. And I've got a week to finish it because we're going to Anime North on Saturday (May 23rd)

It's going to be so insanely fun! :D

Till the next post!
And incase any of you have been following any of my stories on either fanfiction or fictionpress, I won't be updating until after my exams... so estimating the end of June!

Wizard Rock

I recently got back into my Harry Potter streak with some awesome Wizard Rock my friend got me into. So I have this weird need to write a fanfiction for it, so you can await a new story on my fanfiction account for the series. Lately I've been feeling very Malfoy-ish, so you'd best be expecting a Draco fic. I have never written a fic revolving around him before, so this'll be interesting.

Wizard Rock - or Wrock - has been all I've been listening to since about three days ago. I saw one of their concerts this year at the downtown library (yeah, that's hardcore :P). It was kickass. And now I'm addicted to Oliver Boyd and the Rememberalls. He's amazing, although when he's live he forgets his own lyrics :P it's pretty funny. But he's awesome. I think the majority of today has been me listening to Spells and Scars on repeat. It's insane :D

But until the next post!! And check out my fanfiction while you're at it!

April 28th - My Brothers Birthday!

So, if you've read the title, you'll know that tomorrow will be my brothers birthday :D

Tonight we'll be going for dinner to celebrate, because tomorrow we have karate class and mum doesn't want to have a belated celebration. I think it's a pretty good idea. He's turning 15 this year, it's so exciting (Incase you haven't noticed, I don't hate my brother, nor do I smother him. I like my brother. He's cool).

But yes, his birthday, tomorrow. Exciting :D

Guitar Hero Tournament

So my club at school (The Con) is hosting a Guitar Hero tournament to raise money for a trip to Anime North - yes, that's right, we're finally getting things done!!! :D Mizuki and I are pretty happy about that. We were getting really ticked that it might not ever get done. So today I made seven different posters we could put up for advertising the tournament.

Yes, seven.

They all have anime girls with guitars, and the Guitar Hero logo on them, with the time and date the sign-up money should be in by and stuff like that. It's gonna be awesome :D

And now, we have some hope in getting ourselves to Anime North this year!!!

Out Of This Club

And here's another story I wrote, which is posted on my fictionpress account. It was originally a fanfiction for Yu-Gi-Oh (yeah, I know... lol) but I switched the names around and changed a couple things around. It's a lot better as an original story that a fanfic! :D Right now I'm in the middle of typing up the second chapter, so this is a preview of the first chapter... Remember, feedback is appreciated!! :D

~~~

It was winter and the bar was full of young people who were partying. Flashing lights and strobes played across the dance floor in random patterns, and the counters were littered with used wine glasses and shots that were used in drinking contests. The floor near the entrance was wet with melted snow that was brought in with the shoes and boots of everyone who came in. It was a Saturday night; of course it would be busy with college students and young adults that were looking for something fun to do. But somehow it didn’t make sense. Well, to her.
Mai was staring into nothing and everything. Her job was to mix and serve drinks, but she wasn’t focusing on her job at all. It was natural to her, even if she was in a trance. To anyone else, she looked normal. Service with a smile and laughter at all the right times. But she wasn’t really there. Her mind was elsewhere, but no one could tell because everything looked so normal.

“Hey babe, wanna serve me up some lovin’?” A random drunk at the counter asked.

But Mai didn’t hear him.

She was sick of people coming on to her like she was some prostitute. She figured it was her appearance, but that was only a façade. It was really irritating, so she drowned it all out. She had even drowned out him.

And she still didn’t know whether that was a mistake or not. She didn’t know what was right anymore. Not without him. He made everything make sense, and made everything okay. He had accepted her, even reluctantly. But she had pushed him away in fright.

Being weak, pouring out all her emotions to someone. It had made her vulnerable. She didn’t like being vulnerable. She didn’t want to put herself out there emotionally, and she definitely didn’t want to trust someone with all her insecurities.

But now, she didn’t know what to do. So she did her job.

“Your martini, miss.” Mai said, her voice sounding dead to herself, as she handed a sugar-rimmed glass to one of the customers.

It had been two weeks since then. Two weeks ago today that is. And it felt horrible knowing that she could’ve trusted him. But she didn’t want to be the one being betrayed. Not that she would ever have betrayed him. Thinking back, Mai thought she might’ve done just that by leaving him. She felt absolutely terrible about it.

But that’s what you get for being a coward. Mai thought, not quite angry but instead just really disappointed in herself.

“Hey, Mai! We’ve got an order for water down here.” Her boss called.

She walked around to the other side of the neon-lighted counter. “Who could be ordering water at a bar?” She asked him.

“You think I know? He’s over by the fountain drinks.” Her boss pointed over the way.

Mai looked over his shoulder, and froze, swearing under her breath. “Why’s he here?” She muttered. “Out of all the days he could’ve shown up in the next year, he had to choose now?”

Mai straightened out her skirt and stood a bit taller. She was breaking up inside but she sure wasn’t going to show it. Pulling her purple vest a bit more over her chest, she walked over as calm as she could be.

“And what can I get you?” She asked politely.

“Didn’t I say water? I don’t want to get drunk when I’m trying to talk to you.” He said, his deep voice feeling so familiar to her.

Silently, she poured him a glass of water, like he’d asked, and gave it to him stiffly. “There you go, now I have work to do, I don’t like distractions like the small talk you’re so keen on having.” She said.

“Your boss said you have a break in about five minutes.”

“I’m not going to spend my break talking to you.” Mai said “And anyways, you probably have something to attend to, being a famous businessman and all, Nathan.”

“I made it so I have absolutely nothing to do this evening.” Nathan said. “I’m all yours, if you’ll take it.”

“Are you sure about that?” Mai asked, as his Blackberry started vibrating on the counter.
Nathan didn’t give it but a glance, and ignored the call. “Yes, I am.” He said, piercing her with his clear blue eyes.

Mai gave in to his hard stare. “Fine, but I’m not happy about this.” She said.

Nathan smirked. “You really are in denial.” He said quietly.

Mai decided not to ask what he said, as whatever it was, she really didn’t want to hear it. “I’ll meet you outside when I’m on my break. Wait out there. I hope you freeze your ass off.” She said coldly to him.

Nathan gave her another smirk before getting up and striding towards the door, and out into the snow.

Mai kept checking the clock. It was almost eleven, almost time for her break. She was dreading the seconds. Two more minutes… One more minute…

Time enough.

Anime North

The Anime Convention my and most of my friends have been waiting for! Anime North is coming up next month in Toronto, and it's gonna be awesome! We were originally planning to go with the Anime club at our school, but since we're so far behind on fundraising for the trip, me and Mizuki were thinking of just going ourselves, and maybe stay for the entire weekend instead of the one day we were planning with the club (called The Con incase anyone wants to know).

So that's our last resort incase the teacher who runs The Con is running behind on fundraising.

I know that Mizuki will be saving up her money for it - she'll completely go crazy when we get there with buying anime things. She's horrible at self-restraint when it comes to money. She's going to go as Temari from Naruto, and has already gotten the majority of the cosplay done. I haven't decided what I'm going as yet.

I'm saving up for at least five different things right now - including a new laptop (mine is decently old and slower than it used to be). So it really depends on how I budget my money so I can go to the convention as well as do all the other things I want.

Easter Weekend

Alas here it is, the Easter Weekend. Any plans? Not really... Last night I slept over at my friend's house (codename: Kirika) and we watched anime, Yugioh: The Abridged Series, and played DDR and Naruto. We actually went to sleep around 5am this morning :P it was a lot of fun. We also talked a lot about this guy she really hates and the conspiracy about them liking each other even though it's impossible because they just hate each other. Or just strongly dislike. Whichever. It was hilarious :D

The rest of my plans include finishing some homework (which thankfully isn't much - only a movie review on Slumdog Millionaire - which I highly recommend) and on Sunday some friends are coming over to hang out. Since I'm not Christian I don't celebrate Easter though, so there's no chocolate egg hunting or church or anything. Though I still get to have chocolate - my ultimate obsession :D yay!!!

Otherwise, I'm writing a whole lot! I finally got up off my butt and decided to put up a story on my FictionPress account, it's one of my best works - and Kirika's read it before and she agrees. Though, she read only a bit of it because I added a ton more -_-u

Well, I'm signing out for now! See you next post :)

This Is Your Story

This is a fanfiction I made, and I'm contemplating whether it should be under FFX or FFX-2. It's based around Rikku, but this is only the prologue. It's actually about her life after the events of FFX-2. Oh, and she adopts Auron's philosophy, which is the basis of most of the events in this story. Feedback is appreciated :D Anyways, onwards!!

~~~

Auron always knew what he wanted. He was always decisive in what he wanted in his story, and what he wanted to happen. Though not everything would go as planned, it was still a philosophy of his that it was his story, his life, and he could do what he wanted.

“It’s my story, and you’re not a part of it.” He had said one day to Rikku when they first met. But she was still there. Their destinies were entwined with Yuna’s, he had no choice in the matter that time. Sometimes he made way for exceptions in his story. Those exceptions were rare, but usually needed as leeway for destiny to pass.

Auron hadn’t liked Rikku at first, being a young girl entangled in troubles that were not normal for the average teenager. But she proved to him again and again that she belonged in Yuna’s story just as much as anyone else on the pilgrimage. Soon he grew used to her, and some time after their meeting, he told her so.

“It’s still my story, but you can still play a role in it. Be it small or big, I don’t mind.” He had said, with an almost miniscule smile on his face.

As time passed, Rikku became a bigger role in his story than he had anticipated. Their acknowledgement of each other turned into a friendship. Auron’s reluctant curiousity of machina was fed by Rikku’s stories of the Al Bhed, as was Rikku’s childish fascination with his philosophy on his story.

“It’s your story; you can write it the way you want. Sometimes the story takes unexpected twists and the plot may thicken, but it’s still under your control, no matter how little you can do in the situations you’re put in, you’re still in control of them.” Auron told her as they were taking a break on the pilgrimage in a cave for their shelter.

The rest of the group was asleep, but Rikku was up with anxiety of what would happen next on their journey. Auron’s words had given her a bit of comfort and had calmed her down enough so that she could sleep comfortably that night without worrying about Yuna’s set fate.
One day, nearing their battle with Seymour, Rikku decided to contradict his beliefs in control of your own fate.

“What if your situation is completely out of your control? Chaos surrounds us everyday, but what if it gets so big that we can’t handle it, even together as a team?” She asked, uncharacteristically timid as she wrapped herself up in a blanket as they sat by the last embers of the fire they set up for camp that night.

“That means your destiny is taking control, and as much as you might not like it, you have to accept it.” He responded, a depressing shine in his eyes.

“What about Yunie’s destiny?” She asked in an even smaller voice. “She has the power to control her fate, but she’s walking right to her death. Why do people martyr themselves like this, Auron?”

He had no answer that wouldn’t break her heart.

When Auron had finally passed on to the Farplane, Rikku had been immensely depressed for weeks. She had lost the one person she looked up to, and it was almost destroying to her. Yuna would have asked her about her sudden change of attitude if it hadn’t been for losing Tidus herself. But Rikku recovered far more quickly than Yuna, joining her Brother again to be part of the Gullwings.

After all the events – defeating Sin, helping Lenne and Shuyin and stopping the Vegnagun, and reuniting Yuna with Tidus – Rikku held on to the philosophy of Auron. She would never let someone take control of her story, and she wouldn’t ever let destiny get to her. She’d keep running from it until she was good and ready to pass on to the Farplane.

Paradoxical

So, this is a rant I put on facebook, but my friend thought it was really funny so I'm posting it up on here too :) Here goes...

ignorance is strength...okay, how does that work?! i found this quotation on some site and i don't really know how ignorance can possibly be strength!! i'm pretty ignorant and don't know about lots of things and that makes me feel just plain idiotic. strength in the essence is definitely not ignorance, if ignorance means idiocy. so where's the strength in ignorance?? hmph. might i be ignorant of the truth of this paradox? if so, does that give me the strength to defy the meaning of this paradox?

oh the woes of paradoxes... they confuzzle me and yet they make so much and so little sense. but alas that is the point of the paradox! if ignorance can be put in the thesaurus under 'strength', then that must mean they are closely related, but they aren't!! or maybe if we put an example into this paradoxical equation of ignorance = strength, then we might find the hidden meaning...

so if i didn't know someone was being mean to me... per se telling me i was an idiot using the infamous method of passive aggressive-ness, and i didn't get the hint, would i be ignorant and therefore brave in the presence of a potentially mean person? would i, perhaps, unnerve them by acting as if they hadn't said anything, because i didn't catch what they were trying to get across? would i throw off the balance of predator and prey because i didn't see this revelation? would it mean i had strength in a situation where i would else have had none??

but enough of these confuzzling paradoxical words and puzzled meanings! i'm sure that it will all make sense... in due time...

Dragonball

Alright, so there's a new movie that's coming out called Dragonball. Now, first thing I think is: Wow! There's going to be a live action Dragonball Z movie!!

I was sadly disappointed.

Instead - yes it's going to be an adaption of Dragonball Z - but it's going to be pretty different. It's gonna take awhile for me to get used to it. But I definitely still want to go and see it. It's just going to be kinda weird, because at the start Goku will be at high school. But according to the movie's official website, it'll only take a very short part of the start of the movie. They actually compared it to Spiderman in this aspect. But the world of Dragonball Z is quite different from our world - is it not?

Still though, I really can't imagine Dragonball Z having a live-action representative of it. I mean, I don't know if Piccolo will be in this, but one question comes to mind: how will he look??? And I know for a fact my friend (codename: Mizuki) is going to have a total fit if Trunks isn't hot. Again, her worry - not mine :P

But me and a couple of my friends have agreed, we'll go watch it and then judge before completely dismissing the idea.

First Post Ever!!

So, you're here to figure out what the 'Creativity Demon' is about? Well, it's about me: hikari-kasumi, and here you can find out more about me, my life, and my works of writing. Hence - Creativity Demon.

So just be patient, as I will update often and randomly!